awesome-assembly-required:

oh look, it’s Jay Cutler being hott….

awesome-assembly-required:

oh look, it’s Jay Cutler being hott….

source: jaysuscutler

allthewaydown:

… at least this happened first.

source: allthewaydown

Why aren’t there more GIFs of Jay Cutler?

redeyechicago:

I mean, seriously.

source: redeyechicago

swag-to-infinity-and-beyond:

Its baby Cutty! He was always a Bears fan, it was meant to be <3

SUCKER MC’s

On Barry Bonds (by Jerome Gilbert)

Few sports radio discussion topics are more grating than should “should steroid cheat x make it into the hall of fame”.  Amidst the conclusion of the most exciting NBA regular seasons in recent memory, the start of a new baseball season, the beginning of the NHL playoffs, and the ongoing legal battle between the NFL and its players, this topic somehow found time on several different sports talk radio shows I had come across in the last few weeks.  The topical relevance was no doubt the Barry Bonds case: the now-disgraced home run champ was officially charged with one count of Obstruction of Justice. 

When discussion of this topic occurs, it seems to me like everyone involved, from the populist rants of know-nothing sports talk callers to baseball experts and writers is missing the greater point in this whole issue: the absurdity of a harmless drug user being prosecuted with such legal vigor.  One estimate has the total cost of the government’s apparently unrelenting pursuit of Bonds exceeding $100 Million. 

This (a sportsblog) is not exactly the venue to display my personal views on the harsh, expensive, and deadly failure of America to prosecute users of illegal substances; although for the sake of disclosure I will state that besides alcohol I am not a drug user who believes that ending drug prohibition is the smartest, safest, and morally honest action the government should (but will probably never) take. 

Thanks in part to drug users like Bonds, the numbers from the steroid era don’t mean what they once did, and the American public’s “reverence” for certain statistical sensations performed on a major league baseball diamond (and its former national pastime in general) has certainly been struck a blow.  Bud Selig has a right to be angry, but Federal prosecutors?  Why is what should be a private matter being explored with the fullest extent of the law?  Barry Bonds harmed no one with his drug use; if the San Francisco Giant’s disapproved of his drug use they should have cut or traded him; if major league baseball found Bonds to be in violation of rules against drug use in baseball (for the longest time, MLB had no steroid laws on the books) they could choose to leave him out of the Hall of Fame, a la Pete Rose, discredit his records, and prohibit him from working in the industry. 

Is there no better use for $100 Million than paying for the hours of time spent procuring warrants, pouring over evidence, and harassing witnesses to humiliate a baseball player?  Certainly the time of the team of the lawyers no doubt assembled on the Prosecution’s behalf came at a premium?  The next time you hear an angry sports fan speak out in anger against Barry Bonds’ crimes against the game of baseball, direct his anger in the direction his overzealous government, which seems to degrade the meaning of the term “public servant” further on a daily basis. 

Jay’s “ALL-BEEF” Point Guards for 2011 part 1

As the season is coming down to an end The Jay’s beef staff is assembling our first ever “All Beef” team. Think of it as an all american team, or first team selections, except a lot lamer. Today we select the point guards, we got five spots!

Derrick Rose - First team ALL BEEF selection at point guard

The point guard position is one of the most talent saturated positions in all of NBA. How stacked? The Cavs have Baron Davis and before that they had Mo Williams who put up respectable numbers (14 ppg 6apg). Every year since Nash’s back to back MP3’s, experts have been battling it out over who owned the top PG spot in the league. Nash owned it during his MP3 run, Paul owned in 2 stellar years after that (CP3 should have gotten the MP3 instead of Kobe in 2008) and Deron Williams held the spot during Utahs playoff push the past 3 years. A lot of things paved the way for Derrick this year (lets not get on the MP3 chants just yet). Let’s take a look.

1. Team USA/ Summer workouts/Coach Thibs

It seems everyone who played for USA this summer improved their games exponentially all while becoming better teammates. Just run down the list and you’ll see improvements from everyone who was on the team. Even some of the veterans learned new tricks (Lamar Odom, Tyson Chandler).

On top of training with the top players in the Nation Derrick also worked in a summer camp with Russell Westbrook and Kevin Love. Those guys didn’t do too bad this year either.

As far as Coach Thibs goes. We’ve seen Derricks game this year and we know the knock on his defense may have been valid early in this season but not anymore. He shuts down top tier point guards regularly (check the game logs of Nash Rondo and Dwil). Anytime you get your best player to buy into a system then the whole team has to follow through. Its like when a quarterback tries to block  on a reversal. Or when T.O takes double teams  without complaining…well you get the point. Heres DRose stat for the year.

44% fg           4.1 rpg          37 mpg

33% 3pt         0.6 bpg         25 ppg

86% ft            1.1 spg         7.9 apg   

2. CP3/ Deron Williams injury

Despite Derrick Rose’s monumental leaps in his game, there is no doubt that as far as a complete point guard goes, a healthy CP3 is untouchable. They keyword is healthy here, and we may never see a healthy CP3 again. More on that when we get to “All-BEEF” Honorables. Deron Williams seemed to have never gotten into a grove all year long and sure enough, he’s getting wrist surgery. Better luck 2012 yo.

3. Bulls injuries

Yes, believe it or not the bulls injuries aided in Derrick Rose’s inflated stats. He took way more shots this year, he dominated the ball a lot this year and with injuries to mostly offensive players, he had to score.

SIDENOTE: A lot of the criticism against Rose was that he shot the ball way too much this year, portraying an image of a young Iverson aka a selfish player. What people failed to realize is that nobody else was willing to take these shots, and any coach will tell you they would want they shot that gives a team the best chance to win (put the ball in your best players hands right?) Remember Derrick Rose’s stats in High School and College were not as impressive compared to other NBA stars because in blowouts he would defer all his shots to teammates. Team ball, it works.

The point here is, we learned Derrick can dominate a game now. When the bulls need buckets he can get em.

4. CLUTCH

Just watch this video.

5. Swag

Dude is the best teammate in the world! Team USA coaches loved him. Coach Thibs loves him. East All-Star players voted him Team Captain. Can’t hate on Swag. Remember when Nash won his first MVP He said that he believed he won because everyone in the league recognized him as the best teammate in the league. Intangibles are everything.

Conclusion

Derrick Rose is the best PG in 2011. He’s got a high ceiling and we haven’t seen the best of Derrick yet. The league offers plenty of competition with Westbrook, Wall, and Rondo all coming up. Combine that with our already established points who seem to have plenty in the tank (Nash, Kidd) and the years of PG dominance can easily stretch a decade. Lets hope he continues to work hard and stays healthy for the rest of his career. For now, top spots on All Beef PG goes to Derrick.

Dieon Slander

Skylar Diggins, may beauty be thine name.

A goddess came to me tonight and if it wasn’t for the shitty sport of baseball, I probably would have never found her.

The Bulls had just defeated the suns off a boneheaded last second 2 point attempt by Marcin Gortat (despite the fact the team was down by 3). While Chicago’s nailbiting victory brought me joy and happiness (slightly aided by adderall and flu medicine) I couldn’t help but fear for everything beautiful for the Devil we know as Baseball returns yet again. 

(Don’t believe that Baseball is evil? Then tell my why Jessica Alba has herpes)

Avoiding the devil at all cost I was forced to watch the women’s NCAA championship game. Choosing between the Devil and Women’s basketball would seem like a no brainer but I still had to scratch my head on this one. As it turns out combining the two things I love the most, women and basketball, actually gives me a product far less than the sum of the parts. The men’s NCAA finals were god awful (Butler decided to sell all its buckets at halftime and invest in a toxic asset known as bricks) and naturally I made the assumption that the women’s NCAA championship would be a lamer, slower, no dunk, feminine version of “god awful”.  After about two minutes it seemed that my assumption was true until the Goddess known as Skylar Diggins checked into the game. Skylar Diggins, may beauty be thine name!

SIDENOTE: Ever since Jessica Alba had been infected by the Devil, there has always been a vacancy at my number 2 spot for “Top 9 Cho Baby of all time forever and ever list” 

(The list consists of 9 because number 1 is immovable, permanent, the truth….Jordan)

NUMER UNO…..wait…….for…..it.

CONCLUSION?!

Is it possible that for the first time ever, a female basketball player would crack my list? Is this is all made possible because baseball sucks?  As the game played on I realized I began to focus more on the actual game, rather than Skylar Diggins. The game turned out to be a a lot closer then I could have imagined (Its women playing sports, is this really happening?), with lead changes through out the last minutes. As every play came to a stoppage, for every timeout called, I felt a sense of comfort, a safety, knowing the game was extended and that less Baseball was in my life. I watched the two teams battle it out only to witness the incredibly glowing angel, who struggled so hard to compete with Texas A&M fall short of victory. Fall short of a championship? Yes, but not short of heaven. Skylar, You may not have won the game, but you have won my heart; though you will have to be second place on that list as well. 

written by Delusional Dave/Deion Slander

This just in. Lebron is good, Timberwolves are bad.

Lebron thinks hes so smart.

Bulls Passing Woes

The Bulls have recently experienced a myriad of turnover issues with the most glaring one presenting itself in the passing game. It seems that teams have locked on to the Bulls strategy of going to the rim with Rose and then quickly kicking it out to either Korver or Deng for an open and easy shot. If you watch when Derrick goes to the rim a defender will intentionally drift off his outside man in order to give Rose the impression that there’s a kick out opportunity, but quickly goes back to the defender for an easy turnover via pass interception. This is something Derrick will have to recognize, and I’m sure that he will, but given Rose’s game being a violent attack of throwing himself at the rim, it will be difficult to make a control decision whether the defender is drifting off or setting a trap for an ill advised pass. This is something the Bulls will need to correct if they are to have success in the playoffs, however, the good news is that while this is something fixable on the Bulls side, the defense is always taking a risk pretending to drift off their man because Rose is always dangerous going to the rim. Given the short interview after today’s Heat game Rose admits that turn overs are an issue, but there were noticeably less kick outs by Rose in the game. This is why it’s going to be difficult for any team to defend the kick out, precisely because Rose can always decide against it and slash away at the rim making impossible shots against the best players in the game.  

H.P Grape Drank 

A tale of 2 CBA’s

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A lot has been said about the looming NFL lockout. Bill Simmons over at ESPN wrote a great article about the mentality of NFL owners over the last 20 years and how it threatens to alienate the fan base that feeds their fortune. Less has been written about the trouble NBA is headed towards. These 2 situations, while distinct, have a lot in common. They are both a result of broken systems that haven’t been addressed until now, and the NF,L and soon the NBA, are going to extremes to do what they feel will rectify the system.

The problems for owners with the NFL system are plentiful. For a team to get a top 10 draft pick is turning into a death wish. The 1st pick of the draft continues to break the rookie salary record and this is a trend that we can expect to continue this year. Elite players are getting paid tens of millions of dollars in guaranteed money. It’s becoming harder to keep good teams together because of salary demands versus the salary cap. The NFL’s solution is to keep a greater share of the $8 billion in revenue the league sees each year to maintain better facilities, maintain top staff, etc.

However, these problems are of the owners own doing. The NFL doesn’t have a rookie pay-scale, so it’s common for 1st round rookies (and their agents) to gouge teams for large contracts. Everything involving salaries is based on the lie that there is “guaranteed” money in football. Peyton Manning can sign a contract “guaranteeing” him $25 mil a year for 5 years, but if he’s released, his income stops and he doesn’t see another dime. In fact, depending on the circumstances surrounding his release, he could end up being asked to return any bonus money he was paid. And the huge, million dollar contracts are the exception, not the rule for NFLers. The average NFL player is in the league 3 ½ years with an average base salary of $990,000. But you have to remember that that’s an AVERAGE between the Peyton’s and Albert Haynesworth’s of the world compared to those who’re making the league minimum $295,000 for players who were active for 3 games a season.  Why do you think you always hear about the quarterback picked from off his couch, or the linebacker who was working construction? The system forces these players to demand as much as they can while they can because all it takes is one bad hit for there to no longer be a tomorrow.

And I haven’t even touched the most contentious issue being discussed; the 18 game season. We all know that football is a dangerous sport. Team owners and the league’s front office have been pretending to care about player safety all season. But instead of mandating safer helmets, they just want to continue to penalize James Harrison and add 2 games to the regular season. This is an issue on a massive scale. Unless something is done to substantially reduce concussions and other severe injuries, the league cannot expect the players to agree to this proposal.

The NBA’s salary structure is actually pretty good, and should be mimicked by the NFL to some extent. There’s a rookie salary scale to prevent top picks from gouging needy teams and contracts are guaranteed, requiring a buyout for players to be released. The biggest problem is that DARKO MILICIC IS MAKING $5 MIL A YEAR!!! Yes, as in the former 2nd overall pick who was considered a bust is making $20 million over 4 years to come off the bench to average 9 points a game and 5 rebounds. With all of the big moves during last year’s free agency period, the largest contract was given to Joe Johnson for Six years, and $119 million. That’s $20 Million a year. For Joe Johnson. He’d be a 4th option on the Bulls.

Normally, this would be okay except that according to Forbes Magazine, 12 NBA teams lost money during the 2008-09 season. Despite record revenues, the league is still hemorrhaging money to the tune of $380 million last year according to their own numbers. A lot can be done to balance teams’ books without cutting current salaries. Increased revenue sharing, like the NFL does, would make a huge difference. Creating a stricter salary cap would make you think twice before you sign Darko for $5 million a year. Players will have to make some concessions, mainly smaller max contracts going forward and contraction should be on the table.

In all this should be an interesting couple of months ahead. The likelihood of a lockout that disrupts either league’s schedule is unlikely. But any effort to balance the books off the backs of those doing the work, like the fight in Wisconsin, would be unjust. Owners in both leagues should share in the sacrifice and ensure that they’re providing for their employees as well as their fans.