A goddess came to me tonight and if it wasn’t for the shitty sport of baseball, I probably would have never found her.
The Bulls had just defeated the suns off a boneheaded last second 2 point attempt by Marcin Gortat (despite the fact the team was down by 3). While Chicago’s nailbiting victory brought me joy and happiness (slightly aided by adderall and flu medicine) I couldn’t help but fear for everything beautiful for the Devil we know as Baseball returns yet again.
(Don’t believe that Baseball is evil? Then tell my why Jessica Alba has herpes)
Avoiding the devil at all cost I was forced to watch the women’s NCAA championship game. Choosing between the Devil and Women’s basketball would seem like a no brainer but I still had to scratch my head on this one. As it turns out combining the two things I love the most, women and basketball, actually gives me a product far less than the sum of the parts. The men’s NCAA finals were god awful (Butler decided to sell all its buckets at halftime and invest in a toxic asset known as bricks) and naturally I made the assumption that the women’s NCAA championship would be a lamer, slower, no dunk, feminine version of “god awful”. After about two minutes it seemed that my assumption was true until the Goddess known as Skylar Diggins checked into the game. Skylar Diggins, may beauty be thine name!
SIDENOTE: Ever since Jessica Alba had been infected by the Devil, there has always been a vacancy at my number 2 spot for “Top 9 Cho Baby of all time forever and ever list”
(The list consists of 9 because number 1 is immovable, permanent, the truth….Jordan)
Is it possible that for the first time ever, a female basketball player would crack my list? Is this is all made possible because baseball sucks? As the game played on I realized I began to focus more on the actual game, rather than Skylar Diggins. The game turned out to be a a lot closer then I could have imagined (Its women playing sports, is this really happening?), with lead changes through out the last minutes. As every play came to a stoppage, for every timeout called, I felt a sense of comfort, a safety, knowing the game was extended and that less Baseball was in my life. I watched the two teams battle it out only to witness the incredibly glowing angel, who struggled so hard to compete with Texas A&M fall short of victory. Fall short of a championship? Yes, but not short of heaven. Skylar, You may not have won the game, but you have won my heart; though you will have to be second place on that list as well.
written by Delusional Dave/Deion Slander